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John Shuttleworth


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GONZO WEEKLY #134: John Shuttleworth interview

Over the years I have had the signal honour of interviewing many famous men and women, but the pinnacle of my career came this week when I interviewed the living legend, that is John Shuttleworth.<...

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John Shuttleworth Biography

John Shuttleworth is a fictional singer-songwriter and radio presenter created by English comedy actor and musician Graham Fellows in 1986. Shuttleworth is in his late 50s and is from Walkley in Sheffield, South Yorkshire. He has a quiet manner and slightly nerdish tendencies. His musical talents are usually expressed through his Yamaha PSS portable keyboard and include Pigeons in Flight, a song that Shuttleworth attempted to have selected for the Eurovision Song Contest.

 

 

Name:

John Shuttleworth

Address:

Oo I can't tell you that. Alright then - Walkley, Sheffield.

Occupation:

Well, I used to be a security guard for a sweet factory in the Rotherham area, and before that I worked for Comet. Now I'm a versatile singer/songwriter. (I also do a bit of drama, and I'm available for instore promotions, theme nights, sheltered accomodation etc.) 

Parts Played:

Wishee Washee in Aladdin at Dinnington Alhambra; Ethiopian Slave in South Yorkshire Amateur Operatic Society's production of Aida; a Waiter in Just Good Friends - unfortunately you only see the edge of my tray as Paul Nicholas's head is in the way (his hair is very thick and lustrous, you see); Talent Contestant in BBC TV's The Paradise Club. (Hey, I've done quite a bit really haven't I?)

Special Skills:

Swimming underwater - though I haven't attempted it for a while. (There's always too many kiddies in the shallow end). Carpentry, Pingpong.

Ambition:

To become successful in the sphere of popular music.

Agent:

Impresario Ken Worthington TV's Clarinet Man.

Favourite Colour:

Fawn.

Dramatis Personae

 

John Shuttleworth.

Versatile singer/organist from Sheffield South Yorkshire. Ambition is to succeed in the sphere of popular music. Retired Security Guard, hobbies are swimming, pingpong and DIY.

Mary Shuttleworth.

John's wife, and professional dinner lady. Hobbies include Step Class and Tina Turner. Looks a bit like a Chuckle Brother. Not specified which one.

Karen Shuttleworth.

John and Mary's daughter. Plays the recorder and guitar.

Darren Shuttleworth.

John and Mary's son. Works for Victoria Wine, and introduced John to hairgel. Augustus Barnett failed to poach him from his employers.

Ken Worthington.

Impresario, TV's Clarinet Man and John Shuttleworth's sole agent and next door neighbour. Came last on New Faces in 1973. Fond of 'pompadoms' and Malibu.

Joan Chitty.

Work colleague and on/off friend of Mary. Qualified as a physio some years ago. Congratulations, Joan.

Plonker.

Darren's best friend. Used to say 'Call me Plonker', but now no longer wishes to be known as 'Plonker.'

Maxine.

Friend of Karen. Very good at finger picking.

Doreen Melody.

Owner of the campervan John and Mary borrow for their holidays.

Patricia Willoughby.

Local artist, and next door neighbour to Ken.

Mrs Bond.

John's other next door neighbour.

Sammy Martini.

Good-looking entertainer with circus skills. Client of Ken.

Julie Satan.

Leeds-based personality singer, client of Ken. Nearly killed him in a pub once.

Janet Le Roe (Was Rowbotham).

Folk singer and guitarist. Stablemate of John.

Alan the Opera Singer.

Client of Ken. Sang on Up And Down like A Bride's Nightie..


Peter Ovcar.

Minicab driver, co-writer of The Christmas Orphan.

Gillian.

Receptionist at a skip hire company.

Joyce.

Widow from Hope. Keen on gardening, but doesn't have a garden. Described herself as 'very very lonely'. 'She Lives In Hope'.

Audrey.

Rang the Church bells with Ken.

Jasmine.

Darren's girlfriend.

Jenny.

Brummie landlady of the guesthouse in Giggleswick. Wears a kilt that's a skirt.

Lesley.

Runs the Halfway House where John cuts the grass. He borrows their typewriter in return.

Carl.

Has (or had) an eight-track recording studio in Matlock.

Matthew.

Has a sixteen-track studio in the Dronfield Woodhouse area, which he advertises in the Exchange and Mart.

Roger.

Former solicitor who lives at the Halfway House. Difficult to know sometimes whether he's swearing or giving out legal advice.

Eric Blackburn.

A former employer of John, who died in a hang-gliding accident. His last words were 'Get the Volvo, Val'.

Margaret.

John's first wife, who died in 1970.

Rhiannon.

Ken's ex-wife, who was also his harpist on New Faces. She left him for Martin, a builder, taking everything but two wicker chairs. Ken watched their wedding from behind a tombstone.

Nathan.

Ken's nephew. May have crayonned on the wicker chairs.

Jordan.

Joan Chitty's grandson. She looks after him in the early evening and gives him his tea.

Michaela.

John's grandniece. Takes fruit without asking, which annoys John.

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